Quitting to prepare for retirement

By Joel Dresang

I recently led my last board meeting at a nonprofit where I had been volunteering since 2010. Later that day, I attended an event for another nonprofit whose board I left a year ago.

I was born in the Year of the Dog. I consider myself loyal. I feel personal failure in quitting.

But as I get closer to retirement, I’m learning that it’s OK for me to leave something I care about. In fact, despite my own quitter’s remorse, I’ve noticed that service organizations I’ve left have been better off afterward.

Dealing with the emotions around quitting is worth planning for. Feelings of relief and liberation should accompany quitting – whether it’s charity work or a job. But I also imagine bouts of doubt and a sense of loss and maybe even guilt and shame as I consider leaving the work force. 

Of course, quitting a volunteer position won’t be the same as when I eventually retire from the workaday world, but I’m’ hoping the experience of leaving nonprofits will help prepare me for the transition from work.

The biggest difference is the money. I previously wrote about shifting from an earner and saver to a spender. I’m becoming more aware of how my wife and I are going to cover our expenses through Social Security benefits and proceeds from our investments.

But money aside, I anticipate facing emotional changes as I shift from work life. Leaving volunteer positions is suggesting to me what to expect – and what to do about it.

Uncertainty

I held off letting my latest board term expire because I was unsure of what would happen next.? What would become of ongoing projects I had been involved with? What would I do with the time and energy I put into the board’s work

And yes, I have experience quitting jobs. But all those episodes were followed by something definite – another job or, in my early 20s, study and travel abroad. Quitting jobs for me has been like swinging from one vine to another. As I retire, though, I risk reaching out midair to find there’s nothing to grab.

Part of the reason I’m stepping back from volunteering for now is to channel some of that time and energy into seeking out and setting up some of those next vines to pursue.

Loss

I not only appreciate the work of the boards I have left, but I care about my fellow volunteers – people of various backgrounds who came together and teamed up to carry out a mission.

Similarly, I know I’ll miss the people I work with, just as I get nostalgic for coworkers from past jobs.

If history plays out (which is never guaranteed), I’ll continue to see some of my current colleagues on occasion, and our relationships will change outside the work setting.

Leaving the boards has reminded me of the effort needed to maintain ties. Besides, part of moving on is establishing new networks of friends. That can be challenging, but I know it will be gratifying.

Regret

I was raised and conditioned to finish what I started, but as I’ve transitioned off boards, I have left some work in progress, which bothers me.

Here’s what I’ve been trying to do about it, all of which I can see applying to my retirement:

• Reflect on whether unfinished work matters just to me or if it’s a shared commitment from others.
• Communicate in a document the background of the project, what has been done so far, what still needs to be done, and how it can be completed.
• Offer to keep in touch, at least for reference, to help get the work done.
• Accept that I’m ceding control and that others may choose to drop the projects or pursue them in other ways.

Guilt

Especially at first, I had feelings of shirking my responsibilities and abandoning my friends who remained on the boards where I used to serve.

Also, I’ve encountered pushback from some individuals (mostly outside the boards) who have challenged my decision and urged me to stay. That might have been their awkward ways of saying, “Thanks for your service,” but their reactions goaded me into re-examining my intentions, which isn’t a bad thing.

A positive aspect of guilt is that it shows me that I’ve appreciated where I’ve been and what I’ve been doing. That’s healthier than feeling a sense of “good riddance.”

At least for my own sake, I’ve stayed in contact with friends on boards I have left to let them know that I continue to value both what they do and my association with them.

Like retirement spending, emotions deserve my attention in advance of my departure. Quitting volunteer positions on my path toward retirement has made me more aware of feelings I should anticipate – and ways I can try to address them.

And maybe it’s rationalizing, but so far I’ve sensed that the groups I’ve left have been fine without me. Possibly, they’re even better off.

I don’t take that as a positive or negative reflection on my involvement, but I think I’ve left the boards on which I served in good hands. I learned as a Boy Scout to leave a place better than you found it. I’m hoping that’s the case.

Joel Dresang is vice president-communications at Landaas & Company, LLC.